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I didn't think I was going to make it to my25th birthday. That's how bad I felt every single day. I didn't see how it waspossible.
Usually once per day, I would spend about1-2 hours feeling like I was having a heart attack. I would lay on the couchand simply focus on breathing and not having a full-blown panic attack.
Chest palpitations. Tight chest anddifficulty breathing. Tunnel vision at times. It was scary.
It was actually so scary that being bymyself could trigger a panic attack..
“What if something happens and no one ishere to take me to the ER?"- which by the way, happened on plenty ofoccasions (trips the the ER).
How did I get here? Complete abuse ofunregulated substances (hello jack3d) and alcohol. But hey, I was in college..It was normal! Not really..
My insides were melting. I didn't know ityet, but I had barrett's esophagus (pre-cancerous state).
By the time we figured it out, the doctorstold me there was no recovering from this.. Only managing and hoping it didn'tprogress to cancer. I accepted this at first. I took my PPI's and went about mylife (now sober).
But these attacks kept happening. Icouldn't live like that. I had to heal.. Or die. One or the other had tohappen.
So I went on the offensive. I stoppedfeeling sorry for myself and chose to heal, in spite of what I was told.
I learned all I could about gut health. Icontrolled all the controllables with my lifestyle. Alcohol gone- whether Iwanted to or not (I stopped getting drunk and alcohol would just trigger theattacks, so there was no point). Diet, whole food, nutrient-dense options. Tonsof fiber to fuel my tiny superheroes (microbiome). Sleep- no less than 8 hoursa night (or else I would feel like death the next day.
I stayed faithful to this regiment for adecade before I saw real change. I believed in what I was doing, even if Iwasn't getting better yet. It took time to destroy my body. It was going totake even longer to heal it.
Eventually, symptoms became manageable. Ialso underwent a more aggressive treatment where they burned my esophagus witha laser every other month for 14 months (7 surgeries) with hopes that healthytissue would grow back.
It did. I've been clear for about 3 yearsnow.
But energy didn't come back. I was still ashell of myself. Frustrated, I carried on, knowing there was still work to be done.
I stayed proactive- got more labs done onmy own. Addressed some deficiencies and potential parasites. I stayedconsistent with my lifestyle regimen/habits.
Around last year (12 years or so into thisjourney) I started feeling like myself again. What a gift. What an incrediblegift to start being me again. Not just for me, but for my family.. I felt sobad for them this whole time. I had so little to give. That's why I keptfighting.
That's why I'm telling you this story. Youhave something to fight for. You should never settle. If you want more, takeit, no matter what anyone else tells you about what's possible and what isn't.You write the rules for your life.
I wish I learned that lesson sooner.
But I'm grateful for the path I took. Iwould not be where I am today without it. I would not have the passion forhealth.. For life.. That I have now without it.
Above all else, I'm filled with gratitude.Every day I wake up, knowing what a blessing good health is. I wouldn't havethat if I had not been through the struggle.
I hope hearing this story inspires you totake action, to create change where you wish you could. Because you can. Blazeyour own path. Give it everything you've got, and stay true to what you believein.. Even if it takes a while to see it come to fruition. Months.. Years. Adecade?
Maybe.
But it's always worth it. You never regretfighting for it.
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