Breaking Free From Diet Rules: How to Build a Healthy Relationship With Food | Nutrition Blog

Breaking Free From Diet Rules: How to Build a Healthy Relationship With Food

Tori Murphy
January 31, 2025
5 min read

Regrettably, the worldwide web and social media has made nutrition a swirling vortex of misinformation. Too many of us have heard the sad, wildly incorrect dichotomies around “good and bad” foods.  

Real questions I’ve gotten RECENTLY as a coach:

“Why are good carbs sweet potatoes, but not regular potatoes?”

My reply: All carbs can have a place in your diet, and potatoes are not superior to one another.

“Fruit has a lot of sugar, I read I should keep it to two servings a day?”

My reply: Fruit also has fiber, water, vitamins and minerals, so it does not fall under the same guidelines as added sugar or table sugar.

“How do the chemicals in processed foods create binge eating?”

My reply: Binge eating is a complex behavior that involves multiple social/environmental/physiological/psychological factors, and cannot be isolated to chemicals in foods. Everything in life is made of chemicals.

Step #1:

NO MORE RULES

There are no good and bad foods.  No food has super powers.  No food inherently makes you gain or burn fat. You can eat food whenever you want, even after 8pm (gasp). You can have ravioli for breakfast and pancakes for dinner. Sugar is not the devil, and “eating clean” doesn’t even make sense.

STEP #2:

ESTABLISH GOOD EATING BEHAVIORS.

Slow down when you eat. Pause between bites. Rest and digest. Enjoy table conversation. Don’t eat with distractions.

Let satiety actually catch up to you.

TRY THIS

Set a timer for 15-20 minutes next time you sit for a meal. See how long that feels! You can also count your chews and see how well you’re breaking down food before swallowing (if at all). Ask yourself how you want to feel after each meal.

That dessert will be delicious, but is it worth eating so much you’ll feel sick? Eat til satisfied, not stuffed.

STEP #3:

REGULATE YOUR EMOTIONS WITHOUT EATING.

This is the hard part - you have to soothe and cope with emotions without food. You created a dopamine loop somewhere along the way and it looks like this:

1.    You feel bad/negative emotions

2.   You eat food

3.   Food temporarily makes those negative emotions go away

New reward loop created!

Now, you can EASILY replace that middle step with something more conducive to addressing those emotions.

Examples:

Journaling

Reaching out to a relative, friend, or coach

Snuggle with a pet

Listen to music

Go for a walk

Clean

Any parasympathetic activity will work!

TRY THIS

Use an Emotion Wheel: Identify the 3 big emotions you’re feeling when you have the urge to run to food.  Perhaps it’s stress/overwhelm/anxiety or loneliness/boredom/sadness. Practice alternative solutions or methods you already have to process those emotions. You’ll find they will often be the same emotions, which makes it easy to identify the triggers.

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FINAL NOTES…

Start with food neutrality.

Don’t moralize food decisions and don’t ruminate over food choices you weren’t happy you made.  See the Continuum of Eating above to see a spectrum of eating behavior.

This will not be a perfect transition. You will still have times where you might overeat or undereat. You won’t be “perfect” and that’s ok.  

It’s not about being perfect.

It’s about continuing to honor your hunger and establish a healthy relationship with food so that food choices don’t disturb your quality of life.

Good luck!

Need help improving your relationship with food, optimizing your protocols, and reaching your health and fitness goals? Let us help by putting an expert in your corner to help you get there faster and maintain that progress for life! Learn more about our online health coaching by clicking here!

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